katangahan.
kung meron mang perfect example ng word na to.. AKO un. haha. shett.
oo inaamin ko. ang tanga ko. haha. we TALKED na. and it went GOOD, for HIM. grabe. sobrang idol ko tong guy na to. he made it look na it was all my fault.
"Hindi kita sinisisi. sinasabi ko lang ung consequence ng ginawa mo. lalong gumulo."
haha, di nia tlga ko sinisisi noh? NICE.
oh well. sige. he EXPLAINED his side. sinabi nia kung ano ang gusto niang mangyari. and it was all upto me. e hello? BKIT AKO? para ano un? Para if it doesn't work out, ako n nman ung masisisi na pumayag ako with it. haaay :(
so un, di ako pumayag. i WALKED OUT. i texted him na its better if we DON'T COMMUNICATE with each other na. para easier dba? pero d na nman sia pumayag.
i asked him,
"Ano ba ginawa ko sa'yo to deserve all this?"
tas he answered,
"WALA, pressured lang ako."
sige, pagpasensyahan. sia lang kasi ang may pressure sa mundong ito. haha. oh well. how can he be so selfish. were talking about US, pero lahat ng sinasabi nia.. its all about HIM.
tas he said tinatamad na sia and that he was sad, basta. so un, i asked him kung pumayag bko with what he likes, at di nako pasok sa afternoon class ko, kung sasama ba sia sken so that we can talk more. tas biglang may aayusin daw sia. wtf?!!! here we go again with his reasons. tas nageexplain n nmn sia. whatev.
so there, i went home. wala na kong gana after that e. so i asked him again. if he's coming or not. tas hindi daw. nkakabanas.
"grbe,, salamat ah. NOW WERE DONE. i just hope you're happy.."
"...... Parati yan cnasbi m"
nice answer noh? haha. ang galing nia talga. kaya na nia ko mawala pero everytime i ask him, hindi naman daw.
nasan na kaya ung guy na nagsabi sken na... please wag mo kong iwan, di ko kayang mawala ka.. mahal talaga kita.
ung guy na nagsabing.. andito lang ako, walang iwanan.
he's long gone.. haha. pero... im still inLOVE with him. even when he's all different now. ibang-iba na talaga sia. pero ganun e.. sbi nga dun sa song na its not over... THIS LOVE IS KILLING ME, BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE..
and then, STUPIDITY came to me. AGAIN. haha.
i called him. he asked me if i was home already. i asked him to text me when he gets home para i can call him. ang tanga ko dba?
so un, he texted me. and i called. alam ko ang stupid tlga. pero di ko kaya na mawala sia. i really can't right now.
soooo. i told him that. na ok na ko with what he wants. shett, never felt lower in my life. pero un e, ganun e. TANGA kasi. haha :) kaya kahit anong gawin nia sa kin, andito pa din ako.
i don't know if we'll be okay. i did something to upset him na naman kahapon. i'll know on monday :( if he gets mad, wala naman ako magagawa. it was an accident.
ONE MORE THING. after the conversation, may nakita ako. basta dun. at sobrang nakakainis xe kahit na alam kong di sia ung gumawa nun, wala na naman sia magagawa to change that. pero he should. im gonna ask him to. ayokong makita un ng ganun. ang sakit. parang IN YOUR FACE. shett. pag di nia ginawa I'LL DO IT MYSELF. i swear.
ang sama ko na. what's happening to me? haha.
natawa tuloy ako sa text ni cinds.. "crazy. ayos ayos ate". haha. maayos naman ako ah :)
angel went here din sa bahay. to talk to me lang. for me to stop what im doing. at nkailang batok sia sa kin ah :) pero sadly, di pa rin ako nagising. haha.
i was drunk pala din last night. haha. im not myself talaga. im not the kind of person who gets drunk. i swear. good girl ako. haha. i don't like alcohol, i just like its effects :)
kaya lang nahuli ako ng mom ko e. haha. so un, sermon. kaya lang di ko n naaalala. buti nlng nkainom ako nun haha :)
haaaaaaaaaayyyy :( my life sucks. pero sana talaga, everything's gonna be okay on monday. THINK POSITIVE. haha. kahit anu pa mangyari. ITS NOT OVER.
anne